Posted on May 12, 2012 at 2AM
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Posted on May 6, 2012 at 11PM
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(Source: glorious-facade)
Posted on Mar 17, 2012 at 9PM
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The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
(Source: secretsbest)
Posted on Mar 17, 2012 at 9PM






